Winona, Inc.

Another Met Gala. 2019. This one is campy-fabulous! In theme, on point and wearing a very special hat for tonight’s extreme over-the-topness, Winona’s favorite party of the year finds her dotted to the max and grappling with an invitation from Riccardo to take their relationship to the next level.

The Met Gala last night was so extra! The theme was Camp! Don’t you love it? My beautiful milliner, Lisa McFadden of LISAMCFADDENMILLINERY, proclaiming me as her muse, requests that I model the headpiece, Bird of Paradise, created ESPECIALLY for the gala! I take one look at Lisa’s sketches and memories of DYNASTY come rushing in. You wanna talk CAMP?? Shoulder pads out to there! Serious head-to-toe en-soms! Of course I may have taken my dot theme a little overboard but—it’s CAMP, darling! There IS no overboard.

I meet Lisa at her uptown studio for the first fitting. She’s on the board of the Milliners Guild and this year, the Guild has been invited by the Metropolitan Museum Mezzanine Gallery to hook into the gala theme and create campy new hats for their display. I love coming to Lisa’s studio. She’s a mellow spirit. Uber-chilled. Just the vibe I need today to get away from life’s little kinks. The latest? It’s personal. It’s Riccardo. He wants to take things to the next level. “Sell your condo,” he says. ”Come live with me.”

Hats by LisaMcFaddenMillinery. Winona is trying on HOLLY. On the table are PAINTERLY and GABRIELLE. Lisa is holding a leopard version of the GALAXY fascinator. On stand is a custom bridal cloche and on the shelf is her ROSE HAT.

Being back with Riccardo these last several months have been quite an adjustment for your girl. I do adore him. No doubt about it. But I’ve already given up so much. Now I’m expected to give up my crib? That’s straight-up lunacy. And let me tell you why. I’ve been in this building now for almost ten years. I’ve got every sucker in here crystal clear on what subjects we will and will not discuss in the elevator, the mailroom, and the lobby. My condo, a six room unit overlooking Central Park, has been put together inch-by-inch to suit me. Moi. It’s coveted real estate, considered one of the sweetest spots on the entire East Coast. Sell it? Are you outta your freakin’ mind?

At Lisa’s studio for the second fitting, she’s double-checking measurements and I’m spilling my tea. Both Desi and Belle are in my head. Desi says don’t do it. “You stay with him when you want and when you’re ready, you roll out. You’ve got the best of both worlds.” But Belle says to go for it. “He’s bringing lots and lots to the table. I wouldn’t let that slip by me, again, if I were you.” They’re both reading it from their own POV’s, of course. Desi gets around but he still has to go home to Truman every night. And Belle would give a pinkie toe to move in with a man, any man, and get out of her mother’s house. I ask Lisa what she thinks. “In the end, you have to do what’s right for you,” she says. “And only you know what that is.”

We look great, don’t we? Along with my fabu hat and dots up the whazoo, you see the satisfied face of a woman who has decided to go with the age-old custom of stringing her man along. “Of course I’ll move in with you, darling,” I say to Riccardo. “Someday.” And guess what? He’s cool with that. Sometimes you’ve just gotta bullshit them. And they know you’re bullshitting them. But it’s okay. Tonight is all about this pink carpet, baby! Gaga! Thee Billy Porter! Lupita! Katy Perry! Cardi B! Miss Celine! Janelle! You knew the children were gonna turn it out and a lot of them did. Surprisingly, I seem to be the only one in dots. And THAT’S a relief! But RuPaul, who put the amp in camp, elected NOT to do drag. Which was a big drag. And key players, Sarah Jessica and Rihanna, in particular, were mysteriously MIA. Gotta get the scoop on that! But another Gala. Done. ‘Til next time, dolls. SMOOCHES—